I remember the prayer well, even years later. The quick whisper I would say every morning. I thought about it as I filled out countless of job applications and scheduled job interviews. I was constantly asking God to use me, to help me find a way to serve Him.
It was 2007, and I had moved hundreds of miles from home, married my long time boyfriend and graduated college. For a long time it felt like I was standing on the edge of something life-changing, hundreds of opportunities in sight, but no real direction. I was scared and frozen solid in my present life even though I was the one who had set these changes in motion. I lived these days dreaming about so many different things that I wanted to do, but not willing to listen to God’s calling for my life.
The idea had been planted in my heart that I wanted to serve God in some big way. I wasn’t sure how exactly I could do that, but I knew that this urge to serve Him was very new.
I grew up in a Catholic home, but I didn’t really know God. I knew I believed in Him. I knew He had helped me throughout the years as I struggled with fear, depression and sin. Unfortunately, by the time I had reached my mid-20’s, all I knew about God was the short prayers that I recited in the car on my way to work in the mornings.
In 2005, the opportunity to serve God finally came around. I didn’t know it at the time, but becoming a mother would bring about profound changes in me as I learned to unselfishly serve my family.
For me, It isn’t a coincidence that the first symbol you see when you find out you’re pregnant is a plus sign. To many it is just a symbol, but to me it meant so much more.
When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t make a list of things to do or buy. I didn’t wonder about whether or not I would tell the rest of my family right away. I didn’t even begin to worry about everything that could go wrong. Instead, I thought about all of the changes that this child would bring about.
In the coming months and years, my relationship with God would dramatically change and that plus sign would always be for me a symbol of the many blessings to come.